It's a gorgeous day outside.
Here I sit.. sipping a glass of chilled white wine.. all by myself ... enjoying some tunes on the radio... and thinking.
I went back and was reading my previous posts... wondering what I've posted and trying to discern whats still stuck in my head .. floating around that needs to come out. When I ran across the March 21 post.
Today I was talking to one of my mentors.. asking if I am by nature a "positive" person or not. I certainly think I am, but I wanted an outsider's opinion today.
He said, Yes. You have a gift to see past whatever issues are going on - and that's not to say that you are ignoring them - you're seeing PAST them, and feeling the positive things and influences in your life instead of being sucked under by the issues.
Ok... my thoughts are somewhat on track with what some think of me. That's good to me. Someone that I respect and look up to recognizes that about me. YAY!
I could sit here and list off a million things "wrong" or "going wrong" in my world.. but my optimism is keeping me up in my happy place. (without needing to resort to the fetal position!) and really.. there IS a lot of crap going on in my world... but who's got the energy to be negative? You only get one shot on this big go round, and I want mine to be better than wallowing in self pity.
however - I have to say this... after reading march 21, I'm still sick that some, that say they love me and that I matter to them, are still friends with my ex on FB. Why, you ask? Because what you do on FB - even if you have blocked someone, not just deleted, but gone so far as to block them - they can figure enough out via posts and photos posted by your friends. yuppers. Read that again.... they can either figure out whats going on in your life by photos posted by friends, or the little bits of posts that they CAN see on your mutual friends wall can very easily be figured out by following the conversation. Its just like being on the phone... sure its one sided, and you really DON'T know what the blocked person said... but it usually isnt far off if you guess the topic or comment. especially if the blocked party lived with the blockee. Some things are habitual.
I've had friends ask me to delete their recently ex'd partners.. and I usually do, because I really don't have any interest in remaining friends with them on FB because I don't need to be connected to them. (Does that make sense?)
I accept that a couple of our mutual friends will keep the connection open for their own personal needs or reasons... and I know they won't share whats going on in MY life with them. I trust that. But that's only a couple of them.
Lucky for me, recently someone I thought was my friend chose my ex and those friends over me. I was deleted off FB as her friend, and I actually couldn't be happier. If I'm not the one you want to be friends with in real life, I'm all the more pleased to not have to delete you in order to maintain my sanity over what I post or what you might post, thank you very much.
For now, her kids are my friends - but that won't last long. Just trying to preserve peaceful and condusive conversation if required at that moment... but we'll see how that goes, right?
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