Life Changes July 11, 2021

 6:57am sitting in the shop with the dogs and Kristin..and it's the first song to play on the radio. 

No 🤬.  This song is trying to tell us something. Thomas Rhett released this so song in 2017. It started coming back on when we got the news they were selling the house.  It's played whenever there was a shift in things around us between the showings, the sale, finding out the new owner bought it as an investment and we could possibly stay, and now the morning after finding my husband on the floor in the middle of a massive stroke. 

We have an amazing group of friends for us baby. They won't let us fall. 

Here's my last update for everyone after seeing him at 9pm.

I'm home. He's doing really good actually. He's responsive now. His right side is still not all working yet. But what they've done has been helping.  He's on hourly check-ins where they ask him questions and test strength and power on both sides. I got kisses and cuddles and hand squeezes.  Visitors are only 1 per day for 1 hr. He's in London university hosp on the 7th floor in Neuro/operations. The stroke unit is full.  His mom will be his visitor tomorrow so she will update after. He is still non- verbal but is trying. Things look good for this soon. We got him there in time for them to do what they need to. 

This morning is the first of many that will be different for a while. But I'm not alone. I'm going to need to get get some space to let the thoughts in my head actually run their course so I can figure out what our next moves will be, but for now, it's taking each new day as they come.  Remembering that it's ok to cry and making sure I do the stuff I need to do for myself. 💕

3:57am

 I wasn't awoken by a nightmare

I didn't have to go to the bathroom .. I did because the dream wasn't terrible and I was clearly awake ... Mom always said, once you're over 30, don't bother passing a bathroom without stopping in. You'll realize too late that mistake...

I truly believed that I'd happily fall back to sleep...

But I didn't...

I lay there trying to do so, only to finally open my eyes and find the clock glaring back at me ... 4:50am. 

Fuck it. Get up. 

Made coffee, got the dogs out, tidied up the kitchen, and went out to the shop for a smoke. 

My mind is reeling with all the possibilities about where we will move next. 

I thought about trying to counter the new owner's proposed rent with what we can actually afford.

I thought about those people that said they only have places available for a short term and what was happening with those places when that term was over..and why I didn't ask when they said so.

I thought about the pending conversation I've booked with a friend today after work, who's parents moved into the smaller home on their property, and if this is going to even possibly be fruitful. 

And my brain was picturing the option of having to live in our trailer for a couple months until we can find anything that fits what we need. 

We can't live in an apartment or attached home...the dogs would get us evicted. 

We don't want to drive an hour to get to work. It's just not feasible for the dogs or our sanity. 

Something is coming, and I hate to be impatient asking for it to come sooner than later. It feels rude.

But this is day 6 of just wanting to cry when someone asks what's going on. 

Tomorrow I'll start packing again. We have plans to go see friends for supper and it's Friday, so the weekend and a couple days off will hopefully help. I booked the day off in hopes that V and I could get out for a round of golf, and even that feels like  wasteful spending. 

6:43am ... Looks like I'll be at work in time for open for a change today. 

Why am I so angry all the time??

This is really a yucky part (for me) about menopause. I've heard of it, and I've been to the doctor to see what can be done about it.  It is frustrating to get up most days and feel good, have a positive outlook at the day ahead...and then ... I hit a wall... The voice in my head snaps at everything someone says or does and I tell have to fight it back from coming out of my mouth. Not always successful with that.

I don't like that person. It feels like she just can't let go and move on. Noooo..she wants to bite people's head off over stupid things.  

She needs to go away.  Soon. 

Time to call the doctor again and figure out what's up. 

time flies when you ... forget stuff.

Hey... are you still out there? Imagine that! 2021 .. man!

So life hasn't really done much outside of this little box. A lot happens inside of it, some outside of it, but really, who wants to go out there? Ok... sometimes is ok. But it's so pretty here. There's lots going on, and the people inside of it are pretty awesome. The BIL is selling the house.. well, it's sold now, so we're looking for a new home again. hey .. we lasted 8 years - to the day. That might be a record for me. The new owner is apparently a farmer who bought it as an investment property (means to rent it out) from a neighboring town and is away this week, but should be getting in touch with us next week to discuss things. I have mentally written all kinds of wish lists about this house and the new landlord and what I could hope for. I have submitted an application to the next available rental home in the village, I've called and spoken with, or given my number to people that MIGHT have a place for rent or know of someone that might. I shall leave no lead uncontacted.

The kid and her partner went to BC for a while. I got a report back last night that the partner started work this morning. Nice. Now her turn (fingers crossed, something for her that she enjoys - and SOON!)

I finally got back to trying to pack things up last night. It went on hold for showings...and now injust jave to get back on it. if i dont pack their stuff, i will be wading through it for yhe rest of the summer. and i want to change up the designation of each of the other two rooms. just wish theyd done this themselves. 🤬

All the things I did the year I turned Fifty

Bought a brand new mattress new car Tattoo Chopped off my hair Grew pot Tried edibles Grew a huge communal garden with chickens Bought a camping trailer

1 yr

So, today kind of sucks, doesn't it? I really don't want to remember that you aren't here.. because, for me, it's like it was 3wks +1 yr ago. You're on my mind, and you're stuck in your thing, I'm stuck in mine. We both strive to find the good in what is, instead of what isn't... This week has been amazingly beautiful. The weather, the timing, people pushing to help our community thing, missing Legion things, the push so hard for Christmas ( which we LOVE!!!!❤️) people coming together to support one another .. that's what it is ... And it's what I need to focus on. Sure, someone tossed in a shit show this week, but we got through it, right? That was yesterday, this is today. And "That" was last year .. that thing .that day..that event .. it's passed, and we need to pull up our big girl panties and get the 🤬 on with it. It's not moving on..it's moving forward; cuz otherwise you're going backwards, or you're standing still, we both know neither of those are good. I miss you like crazy. I wish this year had been spent doing all the plans that keep popping up in my calendar that we are supposed to be doing .. I can't even bring myself to delete them. They just sit there...waiting for us to go do them. Babies are coming, and I know you're so excited...I get the girl giggle dreams the closer we get. I hear you. I do so miss you. And... Thank you for sharing your life, love and world with me. I'm still here if you need me. I hear I'll be here a while, but you already know that too. ❤️

ridiculous.

This is beyond ridiculous.  We are back to public posts about child support. DH's ex-wife I mean.

I will start with the fact that I agree that some money is due in her direction. But I won't agree that she deserves to receive it right now.

Go ahead. Snap at that response.

We moved across the country to be close to them... To be able to provide for their needs directly.  Spend time with them,  and share the financial responsibility. But when money was to tight one week (and nothing was said to her), she pulled our visitation without even thinking twice about it.

So they pissed each other off and haven't said two words to each other in over 8 months.

The kids now go to his mother's on our every other weekend schedule.

I get it.  It's frustrating to keep having to ask for money for things for the kids when the other parent is holding a personal grudge over paying support. I've been there, and I'm currently going backwards to rectify what my child missed out on for support so that she can have something for her post secondary education.  But when the other parent is standing in front of you asking to share custody. .. To be the other parent just as much as you are. To leave work or stay home to be with a sick kid,  pay for school events,  make sure they are dressed respectably...Then how dare you simply tell the world that you just want their money.

Seriously. ..go *$#@ yourself.

It's not about money now. It's about you. And this isn't supposed to be about you. It's them. If the other parent has the desire to have the kids half the time, share the expenses, and be that much of a parent,  then maybe you ought to let go and let them.  If they start whining that they can't afford the time, energy, effort or stop showing up. ..THEN you have something to stand on.

But until you both pull your heads out of your asses and realize that you're both in the wrong right now. ..The kids are continuing to lose out. Huge.

Where does the time go?

Wow... my boss and I were talking about BLOGS... not really personal ones, more on the lines of business blogs... and I thought.. HEY! I have one... so I logged in, found the link and sent it.. and realized .. WOW you haven't been in the loop... here's the quick update.

Nov 2012 DH was in a bad car accident, and didn't work.. and when we figured out that he wasn't going to be able to work his typical jobs for a while..




So.... THIS happened...


And we moved... across the country, to start a new adventure ...

I'll get caught up soon.. PROMISE!

X

The Terrible Two's ... at 13

Ahhh... that oh so wondrous day has finally arrived... the day my 13 yr old daughter says "I Hate You."

So all this time, I really thought we might actually skip this 'stage'... she didn't really go through the terrible two's as I can recall .... I don't totally remember last month, so a guesstimate of 11 yrs ago might not be accurate.. but I'm okay with leaving that as "what I recall".  Side note: Apparently, I wasn't that pleasant during pregnancy either... so when not long after I'd given birth to my daughter I thought it might be a good adventure to apply to be a surrogate .. my ex-husband and our roommate both said it was a BAD idea and to give it up before I tried... so I must bounce back from a lot of bad experiences quickly. :)

Anyway... we're at the terrible teenage girl stage of 13... she got her period earlier this year (Feb 15, 2013), and that definitely has some of the explanation handled... but I can't say that I go more than 1 day without ending up in a yelling match with her.  I'm not sure there's even a single day that doesn't go by that we aren't "at odds" to a point that I have to just walk away.

I truly dislike this part of raising a child.  All you want is for them to be happy go-lucky kids... well adjusted, do what they're told (at least half of the time would be nice).. I wasn't expecting a miracle child - don't get me wrong! I know I wasn't a saint, and I made my own mother's life somewhat difficult (that's probably an understatement), but this is a pretty heavy part of their life to go through, and I don't want to be in it.

I read all these great blogs about "when I stopped yelling at my child"  and "how to talk to your children" .. and really - WTH??? They aren't talking about my child.  They absolutely aren't dealing with THIS child.  So my sympathy for those parents is non-existent.

I am at a complete loss for words as to how to make explaining this even remotely funny either.  Sometimes I  look back at the past hour of my morning and chuckle... but more often I am at the point of tears.  I'm so afraid that this is going to last a long time.  That this isnt 6-8 mos of somewhat-annoying-teenager angst.  The other night I dreamt that it was 4 years of this... day in and day out.  I turned into that mom in that movie... what movie is that again.. the woman was a space cadet.. like totally medicated without a clue of what was going on at all in her house or her life. American Beauty I think...   anyway ... not the way she's controlled by her husband.. just the spaced out ... doesn't know how to communicate with other people in real time.

SOME times I have a great connection with her... we talk about random stuff.. she tells me random stuff.. she isn't afraid to tell me that some boy from school called her really awful names on facebook and let me go talk to the principal... she isn't afraid to ask serious questions about her body and what's going on with it, or tell me about the boy at school she has a crush on...  it's just those other times.. when doing homework, or cleaning her room, or taking any kind of responsibility for herself or her actions or around the house are the absolute last things she is willing to do - no matter how I ask it to be done.

They don't fail kids in Grade 7. I know a kid that failed kindergarden!  But "now a days" they don't fail them.. no matter how badly they're doing.  She's refused to do a LOT of homework this year. And yet - she won't fail. Next year is her first year of "high school"... no middle school.. no Jr. High... elementary to high school.. that's it. Next year, I'll (probably) still be facing the homework issue along with the rebellion - and top it off with more friends, more kids to deal with, and a whole lot more attitude.   yippee.

For now, we'll take this day by day... it's killing dh.. but I think it's all we can do. Try to enjoy the good moments, endure the bad ones... and get through it together.

(* Feel free to comment... share.. empathize.. or go read past blog posts... they aren't all about any one topic either! *)

Life is a Highway....

it is with a sad heart that I tell you that a friend of mine passed away suddenly. But with a .. I can't find the word.... satiated?   happy?  pleased? .... balanced... let's go with that..   with a balanced heart... I say that he was also a client.  With our help.. our guidance.. he had a will, he had investments, he was on track to becoming debt free ... and a lot of his debts were paid off... that he has gone to rest - and that no one is left to carry a large burden of debt, or things to take care of.    He had a will.  Born in 1964 - not a few years older than me - and he had his life and his after life things in order.

Can you say that?

Do You have a Will??

Have you things in place to leave to those you love and care the most about ... in writing .. to proceed you when you are taken to the netherworld?

Forgive me for not being religious, or for taking religious sortings in my text.... its all the same in the end.


isnt it?

Did you remember that important document that will tell the rest of the world that is left behind if you leave before we all expected you to.... exactly what you want us to do with your stuff?... your money?  Your prized possessions?

ok... why not?

Oh yes.. I know... its something you dont want to talk about.. or think about.. or do anything about... because its scary.. its .. not here.. but

BELIEVE you me....

you'll think about those things when that last moment comes....  that's how we're built.

My world will not end without my pre-thinking that "should this day come"....
because ..   I've been there when someone's day came ...

I held her hand.. I told her to let go ... and that it was going to be alright. That we.. left here... would still be ok.

and that everything she wanted ..

would happen.. just as she wanted it to.

Because I do what I do.    This is important to me.   I lived through someone having to let go....  and we made it... we still make it... 13 years later... we still get on.  We heard her words... her wishes.. and we still continue...

I will not pass on.. without my simplest wishes being left behind.

Will you?
 

Getting Excited after loss...

Ya know what?

I'm doing damned great.

That's what.

Why?   How?  What?

Well... we're going for a promotion, we're building a team, and we're moving upwards.

Never before did I truly realize how much I DISLIKE working at a job.

Sure, it pays the bills, and it puts food on the table.. and it's more consistent than I am... but seriously.. working for someone else's dream SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF YOU.

Ok..granted... maybe it's just me.. cuz everyone around me.. my friends, (some of) my family, and the clients I sit with.. are all out there making someone ELSE's dreams come true.  Yup.  Giving someone else the write offs, sending their kids to private school, practically driving them to the dealership to buy their new car/boat/truck/toy.  NOT ME.

Ya know what I bought this week?  A trip for DH to go back to Ontario to spend time with his kids and family for Spring Break.  Ya know what that will do for my taxes at the end of the year?  It will put a big fat write off on them.

Ya know what I taught a family this week?  That doing an RSP loan at the bank will cost them more than it will get them in the end - but that RSP loans aren't ALL bad. That taking an additional $25 off of their pay cheque every 2 weeks is giving the government an interest free loan. BUT changing the way they "spend" their money could create additional tax breaks and income for them every year, pay down their debt faster, and get them set up for retirement.  And THAT is why I love what I do, and why our team is growing.

A friend posted about her dad passing away not very long ago.. and it sent me into a bit of a tailspin of memories and realizing how long it's been since I lost my mom.  October this year will mark 13 years.  When people talk about how they miss someone they have lost a few months later.. all I wind up retorting in my head is about how I almost called my mom just recently.  How much as my daughter enters her 13th year, the things I want to call her and make her laugh about.. how I know how close she is relating to my teenage behaviors... how NOW i have questions... something I didn't have when I was pregnant and in the first couple months after she was born and my mother called to "complain" that she wasn't being consulted.  My reply was "I'm sorry that you taught me how to figure this stuff out on my own.  Had I known I was supposed to become co-dependent as an adult, I would have called."   ... and some days, I sit here and sob ridiculously over missing her.

When I think about what I do and how greatly a WILL, Life Insurance and Investments will all effect the lives of those left behind I get so intensely outraged at the crap that sits buried in the bottoms of drawers of my family, my friends, and people I have yet to meet... things that I read about in the papers, ads on tv... I can't even imagine where we will be in 20 years.. and the things that so many people are sold in some insurance policies out there... the great and tragically horrific news some families will get because they "don't have time" to sit down with someone to help them get through what we do for families, NOW when it isn't an issue.

Well believe me when I say... I am not giving up.

Things are going to  C H A N G E... and I'm going to be part of it.

And my mother is watching over me and so very proud of me.  For that I am so very grateful.

Perception, change and motion

Now is the time..

I think something infamous started with that.

However.. now IS the time... and I am pushing to change.  Not myself.. for who I am will evolve naturally.  But habits, actions, reactions, and fears.

I was stuck.. but now I am in motion.. movement is the root of change.

Shift happens... and everything is about to shift around here.

Time to stop being afraid of judgement... open up and let myself be judged.

One of my favorite sayings is this one:

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
   Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
   Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
   Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
   Do good anyway.
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
   Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
   Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
   Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
   Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
   Help people anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
    Give the world the best you have anyway.

.. because we often and all too easily fall into the place of non-confrontation... whereas we don't do something, because we're afraid of the reaction it may receive.  We perceive that it will be reacted to that way, and in turn CHOOSE not to do it. 

Reality is all in the perception ...our own perception.. and those of others.  We choose to do or not do something... and our perception of the possible reactions of others can limit us.. in our thinking, as well as our actions.

You are wearing a shirt.

You ask me what color I would call it. - You're asking for my perception of the color.

Now, the answer doesn't really matter.  I may say "blue", but you may see it as "teal".  Neither answer is really wrong. Each of us has our own perception.  We believe that our perception is right.  If I look again and decide that you are more correct than I am at describing the color, my perception will change.  If we don't discuss it, unless I decide that it's actually teal, my perception won't change.

So... into the mix of changes to make, my perception is now also involved.

I am actively listening to other perceptions, and it is changing the way I currently perceive things, which when asked "And how is that working for you?"... is obviously not everything that I wish/want/dream it to be.

When I learn to let go of my existing perceptions, new things will appear, so I am consciously listening to and watching for the new things that are appearing and therefore, shifting towards new patterns.

In this shift, I am experiencing places in which I am uncomfortable.  You can't get somewhere new without being uncomfortable.

Remember learning a new language and the teacher asked you to say out loud a word you had not yet tried to pronounce? - Some people aren't even comfortable about speaking in front of others... on top of that, add the possible embarrassment of saying it incorrectly.  Go a little further ... how about being asked to do something you're afraid of?  Your brain starts to panic, your heart races, and you are definitely uncomfortable!   Do you keep going?  Are you worrying about what someone might say if it goes wrong? That depends, doesn't it?  

I sang in a band. I wasn't the lead singer, I was back up.  I really enjoyed it.  When it came time to perform on stage, I had already managed to get out of it.  I did not want to be on stage... and yet, there was no real reason at all for that feeling.

I have gone to karaoke many many MANY times. I really enjoy singing, and I believe that I am good at it. I will even go so far as to say that I really don't mind too much if it comes out badly in parts.  I've intentionally gone up to sing songs that I am not familiar with.  My secret is that I have already gone up once or twice and sang a song that I ABSOLUTELY know that I will receive high praise for.  I will get my recognition.  So when I go up and do something I am unsure of, I am a lot LESS worried about what people will say/do.  I've already proven that I can sing.

So right now, I am consciously looking for other things I do that with, primarily involving my business. I was feeling stuck because of the walls of my limited perception.. but now, they are moving away and clearing a path for forward motion again.

(go me!) :)  

GORGEOUS day outside!  YAY!  Happy Friday everyone!

So the EX is "in town".. meaning - he's over on the island... meaning we can FINALLY get the divorce papers signed etc.  Just have to find a place we can walk into - sign all the paperwork, pay the money and walk out and wait the 30 days for the little bell that will ring in our heads sayin' "Ding! You're officially DIVORCED!"

My dad referred to a "divorce broker" or something - he said - he and my mom went in, signed and that was it. Nothing complicated.  Think I can find that? I don't even know where to start.  Googling divorce broker comes up with stuff about mortgages and divorce. blah blah.. that's not it.  Will keep trying though.  Left a message at some "untie the knot" place (that of COURSE closed an hour ago) - so hopefully I'll get a call on Monday.

So my grandmother .. let me go backwards a bit - she owns a house with her son and his wife. They tore down her little bungalow house a few years ago and built this huge two level home - totally custom to the wants and needs of my uncle and his lovely new wife. They got to a point that the mortgage payments were getting too hard to meet, so they put it on the market.

I think it was on the market for like 3 mos last year, then they put it back on again in like January this year.  Because it's so customized, potential buyers have been very few. Around the beginning of April, a European couple got interested - came back a few times to look again.. and finally made an offer mid-April - and VOILA! Prayers were answered - they sold it!  Problem then was - that the current owners needed to vacate by the end of April, giving them only 2 weeks notice to pack, find a new home and get out.

Suddenly everyone's in a panic! My Aunt and Uncle take several trips over to the Sunshine coast to hunt for a new home, and aunt#2 comes to stay at the house and help my grandmother pack... and somewhere in this, my grandma finally opens her mouth and says that she doesn't really WANT to live on the little island! So, aunt#2 and I try to rally enough info out of her and decide that someone has to tell my Uncle, before they make a huge commitment.  We get them talking - there are hurt feelings, and harsh words, then a big make up session in which my grandma decides that she will go with them instead of taking her share of the sale of the house money out of 'common pot'.

So they find a place, make an offer, and grandma lands herself in the hospital with heart failure for a week. While she's out of the house, we're all madly packing her, and trying to plan an alternate solution for her to stay with me and my family until she's better and her doctor visits are done, and so my uncle and aunt can get a LITTLE settled over there before she arrives.

So .. she's been living with me just over a week now.  She's in much better spirits, she's building back her strength, and she's doing pretty good.  I can tell because today she got up in the *foulest* of moods... and let me tell you, she likes to share her moods. (sigh)

I got up, TK stayed home from school, had an uber long shower (today was the perfect day for the added primping and preening that had to be done), and opened the bathroom door to the glorious greeting of "WHO took that LONG shower????" and instantly forgot the one main important thing I was supposed to take with me when I met my g/f for her medical appt at 9:30... I didn't realize that I'd forgotten it until I was 5 mins away from the doctors office.  So alternate plan kicked in - I'll drive her out to my place, get it, I'll pick TK up and take her out to get the new runners she needs.  Perfect - get her out of grandma's hair for a few hours.

Doc appt went well - came home, got the computer and TK, and the mood sharing continued! "making perogies is a TWO person job!" ...   no one asked you to make them - they could wait til we could do them - but no matter - you're doing them now I guess. "So, Nan, do you need anything while we're out?"  "A flour shaker".  Fine.  (which she wont need by the time I get home anyway.)

We leave again - we go for lunch, get my g/f back to her car so she can go to work and TK and I hit the mall for a couple hours.

2:30 - we're on our way home, so I call to check in. "Hey.. just calling to see how you're doing."
"Im bored as HELL!!!"
 "I bet."
"Did you ask why?"
"Nope. Sure didn't.  Have you finished your books?"
"NO! I sat outside for a very long time, and now I'm inside and I'm lying down... because I'm BORED!"
"Okay, well, is there something you'd like to do?"
"I'd like to go to Chapters or something and get myself a book."
"Okay, well, we are on our way home - we'll be there shortly and we can take you out."
"NO! It's too late to go now.  anyway..  BYE."

Alright then.

So of course, we get home, and she's in her room with the door closed and lying down.  I don't know if I should go in and wake her up, or if I should just leave her be. I don't need to get yelled at, but I likely will get something whenever she gets up again.

Perhaps today is a good day to take her out for dinner. heh

Be careful who you lend your ear to.

So... what do you do?

I've been thinking a lot lately about the reaction I get from my friends when I talk about what I do for "work".

Not sure I'm a fan of that reaction.

Picture it.. you're sitting around with your friend, and you're bitching/whining/complaining or recounting your day at work.. or something happened to you at work and it relates to the conversation you're having with your friend .. pretty normal, right?

Ok.. now pretend I'm the friend ... I'm sitting there.. listening .. commenting ... equally engaged in the conversation... when I interject with something about my work.  Normally, the conversation just kind of flows, right?

Doesn't feel like that in my case for some reason.

What it feels like to me, is that I bring up anything to do with what I do for a living, and the other person goes through some metamorphosis within themselves.. like what I do is create the plague in little test tubes and I'm just waiting to release them to an unsuspecting world.  Weird, right?  Yeah... that's what I think too.  *With the exception of just ONE friend.*

I work in the Financial Services Industry.  In fact.. I L.O.V.E. what I do, and what I can do to help people just like me... in fact, if you're my friend, I'm more inclined to tell you more about it, and even relate a lot of conversations towards it .. especially if you're complaining that you're broke, tired, work too much for too little, get no respect at work... see where I'm going?

Now.. if I just worked at a bank, or with a mortgage company, or with a law firm, or with some kind of company that could take a look at your financial outlook and see if there was anything better you could be doing, you might be interested in what I do a little more, instead of going through that THING that goes on... you might put me on your list of people to go see if you needed something that I do.  In fact, what I do does all of those things and more! Pretty neat, right?

But for SOME reason... I'm excited about what I do - I'd even go so far as say that I'm passionate about it...  and my friends.. those people in my life that I care the most about, get a little freaked out that I might ask them to let me see if there's anything that I can do to help them out.

"I/we don't want to share our financial stuff / mix business with people we're CLOSE to."
"I/we have a "guy" for our financial stuff and we're doing great, but thanks!"
"I hate being this broke..."
"I'm so sick of my job."

I can understand that some people are sensitive about their finances.. especially when they're not that great, and that feeling that sharing that kind of information might change your friendship.

I totally understand that if you've got someone handling your financial investments, that you believe you are in the best situation you can be in.. because, after all, they're a "professional".

I can relate to being broke too... so much so that I've turned down many a lunch date, evening out, going to celebrate someone I really care about's birthday/wedding/baby shower or even one of their home parties because I didn't feel comfortable about sitting through something I couldn't contribute to.

And most certainly, I can definitely sympathize about hating your job.  You get up every day, shower, do your hair, put on make up, sit in traffic on the way there, probably hurried to arrive somewhere that you don't feel appreciated for your efforts, to get back into traffic with other disgruntled commuters, to rush home to make dinner just so you can sit down and relax and actually spend some time with your family or get a moment to yourself.

But...

Do you realize that you aren't alone? And the fact that you're NOT alone should change your perspective about relating that to your friendship - it should make it a little stronger.  It's like sharing a secret... the bonds grow deeper.  But if you look at the statistics - Canadians are spending $1.50 to every $1.00 they earn.  Really.  For every dollar we're spending, some of it is going to some kind of 'credit'...  and that 'credit' is throwing our family, friends, loved ones, ALSO in debt.  All of us.  You, me, them ... everyone.  Pretty scary, isn't it?

Talking to someone that actually cares about you about your finances and who genuinely wants to show you where you're at now, and in the future, AND help make it better for you is someone that has a lot more invested in your best interest than a stranger.

Being broke shouldn't be the main thing you have to complain about.  Don't you really deserve to go for lunch with the girls, out for dinner with your other half, buy something just *that* fabulous for your girlfriend just because you saw the perfect thing? Don't you deserve to take that vacation this year without having to worry about the money you'll miss for being off for a week or two?  I know I do.

And work.... working for someone else can be great..  as long as you're appreciated for what you have to offer the company, if you're given bonuses for all the hard work and even overtime you put in, and you get paid appropriately for the job you do.  There shouldn't be someone doing the same amount of work you do that gets paid more than you... should there?  How about the amount of time that you aren't spending with your family because you're working for someone else? Shouldn't you be able to go see your child/grandchild at their school concert during the afternoon or chaperone on a field trip if you could?  How about that you can't book an urgent dentist or doctor appointment after work because they're all booked up from 4-5pm for months in advance, so you have to miss work to go... is that fair?
And what about that once upon a time 'earned time off' holiday time... trying to book time off during peak seasons can be brutal!

What I do helps people just like you... like me.
What I do offers other options, and so far that I've seen, BETTER solutions to what you're already doing financially.
What I do could be something that YOU could do, and it doesn't mean you have to have all kinds of credentials to do it.


What I do is something that I'm PASSIONATE about.  I believe that I have the power and now, a whole lot more knowledge than I did before to help me and my family and even future generations of my family to be better than they have been in the generations before me.

So, let this be the one and ONLY time that I apologize that I love what I do, and that I believe wholeheartedly that what I do and what I know could help you, your family, and/or someone that you love be better in their financial life... and that I want so very much to share that information with you... that power.. that knowledge... and quite possibly.. the freedom to own your life again.

But I won't apologize that I'm going to do it for myself and my family... despite how you feel about it.

.. and remember to try to pretend that you care about what my job means to me as much as I pretend to care about what your job means to you.

If I didn't love you, care about you, or want to see you succeed just like I believe you do for me.... I wouldn't even bring it up.