it is with a sad heart that I tell you that a friend of mine passed away suddenly. But with a .. I can't find the word.... satiated? happy? pleased? .... balanced... let's go with that.. with a balanced heart... I say that he was also a client. With our help.. our guidance.. he had a will, he had investments, he was on track to becoming debt free ... and a lot of his debts were paid off... that he has gone to rest - and that no one is left to carry a large burden of debt, or things to take care of. He had a will. Born in 1964 - not a few years older than me - and he had his life and his after life things in order.
Can you say that?
Do You have a Will??
Have you things in place to leave to those you love and care the most about ... in writing .. to proceed you when you are taken to the netherworld?
Forgive me for not being religious, or for taking religious sortings in my text.... its all the same in the end.
isnt it?
Did you remember that important document that will tell the rest of the world that is left behind if you leave before we all expected you to.... exactly what you want us to do with your stuff?... your money? Your prized possessions?
ok... why not?
Oh yes.. I know... its something you dont want to talk about.. or think about.. or do anything about... because its scary.. its .. not here.. but
BELIEVE you me....
you'll think about those things when that last moment comes.... that's how we're built.
My world will not end without my pre-thinking that "should this day come"....
because .. I've been there when someone's day came ...
I held her hand.. I told her to let go ... and that it was going to be alright. That we.. left here... would still be ok.
and that everything she wanted ..
would happen.. just as she wanted it to.
Because I do what I do. This is important to me. I lived through someone having to let go.... and we made it... we still make it... 13 years later... we still get on. We heard her words... her wishes.. and we still continue...
I will not pass on.. without my simplest wishes being left behind.
Will you?
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Getting Excited after loss...
Ya know what?
I'm doing damned great.
That's what.
Why? How? What?
Well... we're going for a promotion, we're building a team, and we're moving upwards.
Never before did I truly realize how much I DISLIKE working at a job.
Sure, it pays the bills, and it puts food on the table.. and it's more consistent than I am... but seriously.. working for someone else's dream SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF YOU.
Ok..granted... maybe it's just me.. cuz everyone around me.. my friends, (some of) my family, and the clients I sit with.. are all out there making someone ELSE's dreams come true. Yup. Giving someone else the write offs, sending their kids to private school, practically driving them to the dealership to buy their new car/boat/truck/toy. NOT ME.
Ya know what I bought this week? A trip for DH to go back to Ontario to spend time with his kids and family for Spring Break. Ya know what that will do for my taxes at the end of the year? It will put a big fat write off on them.
Ya know what I taught a family this week? That doing an RSP loan at the bank will cost them more than it will get them in the end - but that RSP loans aren't ALL bad. That taking an additional $25 off of their pay cheque every 2 weeks is giving the government an interest free loan. BUT changing the way they "spend" their money could create additional tax breaks and income for them every year, pay down their debt faster, and get them set up for retirement. And THAT is why I love what I do, and why our team is growing.
A friend posted about her dad passing away not very long ago.. and it sent me into a bit of a tailspin of memories and realizing how long it's been since I lost my mom. October this year will mark 13 years. When people talk about how they miss someone they have lost a few months later.. all I wind up retorting in my head is about how I almost called my mom just recently. How much as my daughter enters her 13th year, the things I want to call her and make her laugh about.. how I know how close she is relating to my teenage behaviors... how NOW i have questions... something I didn't have when I was pregnant and in the first couple months after she was born and my mother called to "complain" that she wasn't being consulted. My reply was "I'm sorry that you taught me how to figure this stuff out on my own. Had I known I was supposed to become co-dependent as an adult, I would have called." ... and some days, I sit here and sob ridiculously over missing her.
When I think about what I do and how greatly a WILL, Life Insurance and Investments will all effect the lives of those left behind I get so intensely outraged at the crap that sits buried in the bottoms of drawers of my family, my friends, and people I have yet to meet... things that I read about in the papers, ads on tv... I can't even imagine where we will be in 20 years.. and the things that so many people are sold in some insurance policies out there... the great and tragically horrific news some families will get because they "don't have time" to sit down with someone to help them get through what we do for families, NOW when it isn't an issue.
Well believe me when I say... I am not giving up.
Things are going to C H A N G E... and I'm going to be part of it.
And my mother is watching over me and so very proud of me. For that I am so very grateful.
I'm doing damned great.
That's what.
Why? How? What?
Well... we're going for a promotion, we're building a team, and we're moving upwards.
Never before did I truly realize how much I DISLIKE working at a job.
Sure, it pays the bills, and it puts food on the table.. and it's more consistent than I am... but seriously.. working for someone else's dream SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF YOU.
Ok..granted... maybe it's just me.. cuz everyone around me.. my friends, (some of) my family, and the clients I sit with.. are all out there making someone ELSE's dreams come true. Yup. Giving someone else the write offs, sending their kids to private school, practically driving them to the dealership to buy their new car/boat/truck/toy. NOT ME.
Ya know what I bought this week? A trip for DH to go back to Ontario to spend time with his kids and family for Spring Break. Ya know what that will do for my taxes at the end of the year? It will put a big fat write off on them.
Ya know what I taught a family this week? That doing an RSP loan at the bank will cost them more than it will get them in the end - but that RSP loans aren't ALL bad. That taking an additional $25 off of their pay cheque every 2 weeks is giving the government an interest free loan. BUT changing the way they "spend" their money could create additional tax breaks and income for them every year, pay down their debt faster, and get them set up for retirement. And THAT is why I love what I do, and why our team is growing.
A friend posted about her dad passing away not very long ago.. and it sent me into a bit of a tailspin of memories and realizing how long it's been since I lost my mom. October this year will mark 13 years. When people talk about how they miss someone they have lost a few months later.. all I wind up retorting in my head is about how I almost called my mom just recently. How much as my daughter enters her 13th year, the things I want to call her and make her laugh about.. how I know how close she is relating to my teenage behaviors... how NOW i have questions... something I didn't have when I was pregnant and in the first couple months after she was born and my mother called to "complain" that she wasn't being consulted. My reply was "I'm sorry that you taught me how to figure this stuff out on my own. Had I known I was supposed to become co-dependent as an adult, I would have called." ... and some days, I sit here and sob ridiculously over missing her.
When I think about what I do and how greatly a WILL, Life Insurance and Investments will all effect the lives of those left behind I get so intensely outraged at the crap that sits buried in the bottoms of drawers of my family, my friends, and people I have yet to meet... things that I read about in the papers, ads on tv... I can't even imagine where we will be in 20 years.. and the things that so many people are sold in some insurance policies out there... the great and tragically horrific news some families will get because they "don't have time" to sit down with someone to help them get through what we do for families, NOW when it isn't an issue.
Well believe me when I say... I am not giving up.
Things are going to C H A N G E... and I'm going to be part of it.
And my mother is watching over me and so very proud of me. For that I am so very grateful.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Perception, change and motion
Now is the time..
I think something infamous started with that.
However.. now IS the time... and I am pushing to change. Not myself.. for who I am will evolve naturally. But habits, actions, reactions, and fears.
I was stuck.. but now I am in motion.. movement is the root of change.
Shift happens... and everything is about to shift around here.
Time to stop being afraid of judgement... open up and let myself be judged.
One of my favorite sayings is this one:
I think something infamous started with that.
However.. now IS the time... and I am pushing to change. Not myself.. for who I am will evolve naturally. But habits, actions, reactions, and fears.
I was stuck.. but now I am in motion.. movement is the root of change.
Shift happens... and everything is about to shift around here.
Time to stop being afraid of judgement... open up and let myself be judged.
One of my favorite sayings is this one:
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
- People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway. - If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway. - If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway. - The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway. - Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway. - The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway. - People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway. - What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway. - People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway. - Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
.. because we often and all too easily fall into the place of non-confrontation... whereas we don't do something, because we're afraid of the reaction it may receive. We perceive that it will be reacted to that way, and in turn CHOOSE not to do it.
Reality is all in the perception ...our own perception.. and those of others. We choose to do or not do something... and our perception of the possible reactions of others can limit us.. in our thinking, as well as our actions.
You are wearing a shirt.
You ask me what color I would call it. - You're asking for my perception of the color.
Now, the answer doesn't really matter. I may say "blue", but you may see it as "teal". Neither answer is really wrong. Each of us has our own perception. We believe that our perception is right. If I look again and decide that you are more correct than I am at describing the color, my perception will change. If we don't discuss it, unless I decide that it's actually teal, my perception won't change.
So... into the mix of changes to make, my perception is now also involved.
I am actively listening to other perceptions, and it is changing the way I currently perceive things, which when asked "And how is that working for you?"... is obviously not everything that I wish/want/dream it to be.
When I learn to let go of my existing perceptions, new things will appear, so I am consciously listening to and watching for the new things that are appearing and therefore, shifting towards new patterns.
In this shift, I am experiencing places in which I am uncomfortable. You can't get somewhere new without being uncomfortable.
Remember learning a new language and the teacher asked you to say out loud a word you had not yet tried to pronounce? - Some people aren't even comfortable about speaking in front of others... on top of that, add the possible embarrassment of saying it incorrectly. Go a little further ... how about being asked to do something you're afraid of? Your brain starts to panic, your heart races, and you are definitely uncomfortable! Do you keep going? Are you worrying about what someone might say if it goes wrong? That depends, doesn't it?
I sang in a band. I wasn't the lead singer, I was back up. I really enjoyed it. When it came time to perform on stage, I had already managed to get out of it. I did not want to be on stage... and yet, there was no real reason at all for that feeling.
I have gone to karaoke many many MANY times. I really enjoy singing, and I believe that I am good at it. I will even go so far as to say that I really don't mind too much if it comes out badly in parts. I've intentionally gone up to sing songs that I am not familiar with. My secret is that I have already gone up once or twice and sang a song that I ABSOLUTELY know that I will receive high praise for. I will get my recognition. So when I go up and do something I am unsure of, I am a lot LESS worried about what people will say/do. I've already proven that I can sing.
So right now, I am consciously looking for other things I do that with, primarily involving my business. I was feeling stuck because of the walls of my limited perception.. but now, they are moving away and clearing a path for forward motion again.
(go me!) :)
Friday, May 11, 2012
GORGEOUS day outside! YAY! Happy Friday everyone!
So the EX is "in town".. meaning - he's over on the island... meaning we can FINALLY get the divorce papers signed etc. Just have to find a place we can walk into - sign all the paperwork, pay the money and walk out and wait the 30 days for the little bell that will ring in our heads sayin' "Ding! You're officially DIVORCED!"
My dad referred to a "divorce broker" or something - he said - he and my mom went in, signed and that was it. Nothing complicated. Think I can find that? I don't even know where to start. Googling divorce broker comes up with stuff about mortgages and divorce. blah blah.. that's not it. Will keep trying though. Left a message at some "untie the knot" place (that of COURSE closed an hour ago) - so hopefully I'll get a call on Monday.
So my grandmother .. let me go backwards a bit - she owns a house with her son and his wife. They tore down her little bungalow house a few years ago and built this huge two level home - totally custom to the wants and needs of my uncle and his lovely new wife. They got to a point that the mortgage payments were getting too hard to meet, so they put it on the market.
I think it was on the market for like 3 mos last year, then they put it back on again in like January this year. Because it's so customized, potential buyers have been very few. Around the beginning of April, a European couple got interested - came back a few times to look again.. and finally made an offer mid-April - and VOILA! Prayers were answered - they sold it! Problem then was - that the current owners needed to vacate by the end of April, giving them only 2 weeks notice to pack, find a new home and get out.
Suddenly everyone's in a panic! My Aunt and Uncle take several trips over to the Sunshine coast to hunt for a new home, and aunt#2 comes to stay at the house and help my grandmother pack... and somewhere in this, my grandma finally opens her mouth and says that she doesn't really WANT to live on the little island! So, aunt#2 and I try to rally enough info out of her and decide that someone has to tell my Uncle, before they make a huge commitment. We get them talking - there are hurt feelings, and harsh words, then a big make up session in which my grandma decides that she will go with them instead of taking her share of the sale of the house money out of 'common pot'.
So they find a place, make an offer, and grandma lands herself in the hospital with heart failure for a week. While she's out of the house, we're all madly packing her, and trying to plan an alternate solution for her to stay with me and my family until she's better and her doctor visits are done, and so my uncle and aunt can get a LITTLE settled over there before she arrives.
So .. she's been living with me just over a week now. She's in much better spirits, she's building back her strength, and she's doing pretty good. I can tell because today she got up in the *foulest* of moods... and let me tell you, she likes to share her moods. (sigh)
I got up, TK stayed home from school, had an uber long shower (today was the perfect day for the added primping and preening that had to be done), and opened the bathroom door to the glorious greeting of "WHO took that LONG shower????" and instantly forgot the one main important thing I was supposed to take with me when I met my g/f for her medical appt at 9:30... I didn't realize that I'd forgotten it until I was 5 mins away from the doctors office. So alternate plan kicked in - I'll drive her out to my place, get it, I'll pick TK up and take her out to get the new runners she needs. Perfect - get her out of grandma's hair for a few hours.
Doc appt went well - came home, got the computer and TK, and the mood sharing continued! "making perogies is a TWO person job!" ... no one asked you to make them - they could wait til we could do them - but no matter - you're doing them now I guess. "So, Nan, do you need anything while we're out?" "A flour shaker". Fine. (which she wont need by the time I get home anyway.)
We leave again - we go for lunch, get my g/f back to her car so she can go to work and TK and I hit the mall for a couple hours.
2:30 - we're on our way home, so I call to check in. "Hey.. just calling to see how you're doing."
"Im bored as HELL!!!"
"I bet."
"Did you ask why?"
"Nope. Sure didn't. Have you finished your books?"
"NO! I sat outside for a very long time, and now I'm inside and I'm lying down... because I'm BORED!"
"Okay, well, is there something you'd like to do?"
"I'd like to go to Chapters or something and get myself a book."
"Okay, well, we are on our way home - we'll be there shortly and we can take you out."
"NO! It's too late to go now. anyway.. BYE."
Alright then.
So of course, we get home, and she's in her room with the door closed and lying down. I don't know if I should go in and wake her up, or if I should just leave her be. I don't need to get yelled at, but I likely will get something whenever she gets up again.
Perhaps today is a good day to take her out for dinner. heh
So the EX is "in town".. meaning - he's over on the island... meaning we can FINALLY get the divorce papers signed etc. Just have to find a place we can walk into - sign all the paperwork, pay the money and walk out and wait the 30 days for the little bell that will ring in our heads sayin' "Ding! You're officially DIVORCED!"
My dad referred to a "divorce broker" or something - he said - he and my mom went in, signed and that was it. Nothing complicated. Think I can find that? I don't even know where to start. Googling divorce broker comes up with stuff about mortgages and divorce. blah blah.. that's not it. Will keep trying though. Left a message at some "untie the knot" place (that of COURSE closed an hour ago) - so hopefully I'll get a call on Monday.
So my grandmother .. let me go backwards a bit - she owns a house with her son and his wife. They tore down her little bungalow house a few years ago and built this huge two level home - totally custom to the wants and needs of my uncle and his lovely new wife. They got to a point that the mortgage payments were getting too hard to meet, so they put it on the market.
I think it was on the market for like 3 mos last year, then they put it back on again in like January this year. Because it's so customized, potential buyers have been very few. Around the beginning of April, a European couple got interested - came back a few times to look again.. and finally made an offer mid-April - and VOILA! Prayers were answered - they sold it! Problem then was - that the current owners needed to vacate by the end of April, giving them only 2 weeks notice to pack, find a new home and get out.
Suddenly everyone's in a panic! My Aunt and Uncle take several trips over to the Sunshine coast to hunt for a new home, and aunt#2 comes to stay at the house and help my grandmother pack... and somewhere in this, my grandma finally opens her mouth and says that she doesn't really WANT to live on the little island! So, aunt#2 and I try to rally enough info out of her and decide that someone has to tell my Uncle, before they make a huge commitment. We get them talking - there are hurt feelings, and harsh words, then a big make up session in which my grandma decides that she will go with them instead of taking her share of the sale of the house money out of 'common pot'.
So they find a place, make an offer, and grandma lands herself in the hospital with heart failure for a week. While she's out of the house, we're all madly packing her, and trying to plan an alternate solution for her to stay with me and my family until she's better and her doctor visits are done, and so my uncle and aunt can get a LITTLE settled over there before she arrives.
So .. she's been living with me just over a week now. She's in much better spirits, she's building back her strength, and she's doing pretty good. I can tell because today she got up in the *foulest* of moods... and let me tell you, she likes to share her moods. (sigh)
I got up, TK stayed home from school, had an uber long shower (today was the perfect day for the added primping and preening that had to be done), and opened the bathroom door to the glorious greeting of "WHO took that LONG shower????" and instantly forgot the one main important thing I was supposed to take with me when I met my g/f for her medical appt at 9:30... I didn't realize that I'd forgotten it until I was 5 mins away from the doctors office. So alternate plan kicked in - I'll drive her out to my place, get it, I'll pick TK up and take her out to get the new runners she needs. Perfect - get her out of grandma's hair for a few hours.
Doc appt went well - came home, got the computer and TK, and the mood sharing continued! "making perogies is a TWO person job!" ... no one asked you to make them - they could wait til we could do them - but no matter - you're doing them now I guess. "So, Nan, do you need anything while we're out?" "A flour shaker". Fine. (which she wont need by the time I get home anyway.)
We leave again - we go for lunch, get my g/f back to her car so she can go to work and TK and I hit the mall for a couple hours.
2:30 - we're on our way home, so I call to check in. "Hey.. just calling to see how you're doing."
"Im bored as HELL!!!"
"I bet."
"Did you ask why?"
"Nope. Sure didn't. Have you finished your books?"
"NO! I sat outside for a very long time, and now I'm inside and I'm lying down... because I'm BORED!"
"Okay, well, is there something you'd like to do?"
"I'd like to go to Chapters or something and get myself a book."
"Okay, well, we are on our way home - we'll be there shortly and we can take you out."
"NO! It's too late to go now. anyway.. BYE."
Alright then.
So of course, we get home, and she's in her room with the door closed and lying down. I don't know if I should go in and wake her up, or if I should just leave her be. I don't need to get yelled at, but I likely will get something whenever she gets up again.
Perhaps today is a good day to take her out for dinner. heh
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
So... what do you do?
I've been thinking a lot lately about the reaction I get from my friends when I talk about what I do for "work".
Not sure I'm a fan of that reaction.
Picture it.. you're sitting around with your friend, and you're bitching/whining/complaining or recounting your day at work.. or something happened to you at work and it relates to the conversation you're having with your friend .. pretty normal, right?
Ok.. now pretend I'm the friend ... I'm sitting there.. listening .. commenting ... equally engaged in the conversation... when I interject with something about my work. Normally, the conversation just kind of flows, right?
Doesn't feel like that in my case for some reason.
What it feels like to me, is that I bring up anything to do with what I do for a living, and the other person goes through some metamorphosis within themselves.. like what I do is create the plague in little test tubes and I'm just waiting to release them to an unsuspecting world. Weird, right? Yeah... that's what I think too. *With the exception of just ONE friend.*
I work in the Financial Services Industry. In fact.. I L.O.V.E. what I do, and what I can do to help people just like me... in fact, if you're my friend, I'm more inclined to tell you more about it, and even relate a lot of conversations towards it .. especially if you're complaining that you're broke, tired, work too much for too little, get no respect at work... see where I'm going?
Now.. if I just worked at a bank, or with a mortgage company, or with a law firm, or with some kind of company that could take a look at your financial outlook and see if there was anything better you could be doing, you might be interested in what I do a little more, instead of going through that THING that goes on... you might put me on your list of people to go see if you needed something that I do. In fact, what I do does all of those things and more! Pretty neat, right?
But for SOME reason... I'm excited about what I do - I'd even go so far as say that I'm passionate about it... and my friends.. those people in my life that I care the most about, get a little freaked out that I might ask them to let me see if there's anything that I can do to help them out.
"I/we don't want to share our financial stuff / mix business with people we're CLOSE to."
"I/we have a "guy" for our financial stuff and we're doing great, but thanks!"
"I hate being this broke..."
"I'm so sick of my job."
I can understand that some people are sensitive about their finances.. especially when they're not that great, and that feeling that sharing that kind of information might change your friendship.
I totally understand that if you've got someone handling your financial investments, that you believe you are in the best situation you can be in.. because, after all, they're a "professional".
I can relate to being broke too... so much so that I've turned down many a lunch date, evening out, going to celebrate someone I really care about's birthday/wedding/baby shower or even one of their home parties because I didn't feel comfortable about sitting through something I couldn't contribute to.
And most certainly, I can definitely sympathize about hating your job. You get up every day, shower, do your hair, put on make up, sit in traffic on the way there, probably hurried to arrive somewhere that you don't feel appreciated for your efforts, to get back into traffic with other disgruntled commuters, to rush home to make dinner just so you can sit down and relax and actually spend some time with your family or get a moment to yourself.
But...
Do you realize that you aren't alone? And the fact that you're NOT alone should change your perspective about relating that to your friendship - it should make it a little stronger. It's like sharing a secret... the bonds grow deeper. But if you look at the statistics - Canadians are spending $1.50 to every $1.00 they earn. Really. For every dollar we're spending, some of it is going to some kind of 'credit'... and that 'credit' is throwing our family, friends, loved ones, ALSO in debt. All of us. You, me, them ... everyone. Pretty scary, isn't it?
Talking to someone that actually cares about you about your finances and who genuinely wants to show you where you're at now, and in the future, AND help make it better for you is someone that has a lot more invested in your best interest than a stranger.
Being broke shouldn't be the main thing you have to complain about. Don't you really deserve to go for lunch with the girls, out for dinner with your other half, buy something just *that* fabulous for your girlfriend just because you saw the perfect thing? Don't you deserve to take that vacation this year without having to worry about the money you'll miss for being off for a week or two? I know I do.
And work.... working for someone else can be great.. as long as you're appreciated for what you have to offer the company, if you're given bonuses for all the hard work and even overtime you put in, and you get paid appropriately for the job you do. There shouldn't be someone doing the same amount of work you do that gets paid more than you... should there? How about the amount of time that you aren't spending with your family because you're working for someone else? Shouldn't you be able to go see your child/grandchild at their school concert during the afternoon or chaperone on a field trip if you could? How about that you can't book an urgent dentist or doctor appointment after work because they're all booked up from 4-5pm for months in advance, so you have to miss work to go... is that fair?
And what about that once upon a time 'earned time off' holiday time... trying to book time off during peak seasons can be brutal!
What I do helps people just like you... like me.
What I do offers other options, and so far that I've seen, BETTER solutions to what you're already doing financially.
What I do could be something that YOU could do, and it doesn't mean you have to have all kinds of credentials to do it.
What I do is something that I'm PASSIONATE about. I believe that I have the power and now, a whole lot more knowledge than I did before to help me and my family and even future generations of my family to be better than they have been in the generations before me.
So, let this be the one and ONLY time that I apologize that I love what I do, and that I believe wholeheartedly that what I do and what I know could help you, your family, and/or someone that you love be better in their financial life... and that I want so very much to share that information with you... that power.. that knowledge... and quite possibly.. the freedom to own your life again.
But I won't apologize that I'm going to do it for myself and my family... despite how you feel about it.
.. and remember to try to pretend that you care about what my job means to me as much as I pretend to care about what your job means to you.
If I didn't love you, care about you, or want to see you succeed just like I believe you do for me.... I wouldn't even bring it up.
Not sure I'm a fan of that reaction.
Picture it.. you're sitting around with your friend, and you're bitching/whining/complaining or recounting your day at work.. or something happened to you at work and it relates to the conversation you're having with your friend .. pretty normal, right?
Ok.. now pretend I'm the friend ... I'm sitting there.. listening .. commenting ... equally engaged in the conversation... when I interject with something about my work. Normally, the conversation just kind of flows, right?
Doesn't feel like that in my case for some reason.
What it feels like to me, is that I bring up anything to do with what I do for a living, and the other person goes through some metamorphosis within themselves.. like what I do is create the plague in little test tubes and I'm just waiting to release them to an unsuspecting world. Weird, right? Yeah... that's what I think too. *With the exception of just ONE friend.*
I work in the Financial Services Industry. In fact.. I L.O.V.E. what I do, and what I can do to help people just like me... in fact, if you're my friend, I'm more inclined to tell you more about it, and even relate a lot of conversations towards it .. especially if you're complaining that you're broke, tired, work too much for too little, get no respect at work... see where I'm going?
Now.. if I just worked at a bank, or with a mortgage company, or with a law firm, or with some kind of company that could take a look at your financial outlook and see if there was anything better you could be doing, you might be interested in what I do a little more, instead of going through that THING that goes on... you might put me on your list of people to go see if you needed something that I do. In fact, what I do does all of those things and more! Pretty neat, right?
But for SOME reason... I'm excited about what I do - I'd even go so far as say that I'm passionate about it... and my friends.. those people in my life that I care the most about, get a little freaked out that I might ask them to let me see if there's anything that I can do to help them out.
"I/we don't want to share our financial stuff / mix business with people we're CLOSE to."
"I/we have a "guy" for our financial stuff and we're doing great, but thanks!"
"I hate being this broke..."
"I'm so sick of my job."
I can understand that some people are sensitive about their finances.. especially when they're not that great, and that feeling that sharing that kind of information might change your friendship.
I totally understand that if you've got someone handling your financial investments, that you believe you are in the best situation you can be in.. because, after all, they're a "professional".
I can relate to being broke too... so much so that I've turned down many a lunch date, evening out, going to celebrate someone I really care about's birthday/wedding/baby shower or even one of their home parties because I didn't feel comfortable about sitting through something I couldn't contribute to.
And most certainly, I can definitely sympathize about hating your job. You get up every day, shower, do your hair, put on make up, sit in traffic on the way there, probably hurried to arrive somewhere that you don't feel appreciated for your efforts, to get back into traffic with other disgruntled commuters, to rush home to make dinner just so you can sit down and relax and actually spend some time with your family or get a moment to yourself.
But...
Do you realize that you aren't alone? And the fact that you're NOT alone should change your perspective about relating that to your friendship - it should make it a little stronger. It's like sharing a secret... the bonds grow deeper. But if you look at the statistics - Canadians are spending $1.50 to every $1.00 they earn. Really. For every dollar we're spending, some of it is going to some kind of 'credit'... and that 'credit' is throwing our family, friends, loved ones, ALSO in debt. All of us. You, me, them ... everyone. Pretty scary, isn't it?
Talking to someone that actually cares about you about your finances and who genuinely wants to show you where you're at now, and in the future, AND help make it better for you is someone that has a lot more invested in your best interest than a stranger.
Being broke shouldn't be the main thing you have to complain about. Don't you really deserve to go for lunch with the girls, out for dinner with your other half, buy something just *that* fabulous for your girlfriend just because you saw the perfect thing? Don't you deserve to take that vacation this year without having to worry about the money you'll miss for being off for a week or two? I know I do.
And work.... working for someone else can be great.. as long as you're appreciated for what you have to offer the company, if you're given bonuses for all the hard work and even overtime you put in, and you get paid appropriately for the job you do. There shouldn't be someone doing the same amount of work you do that gets paid more than you... should there? How about the amount of time that you aren't spending with your family because you're working for someone else? Shouldn't you be able to go see your child/grandchild at their school concert during the afternoon or chaperone on a field trip if you could? How about that you can't book an urgent dentist or doctor appointment after work because they're all booked up from 4-5pm for months in advance, so you have to miss work to go... is that fair?
And what about that once upon a time 'earned time off' holiday time... trying to book time off during peak seasons can be brutal!
What I do helps people just like you... like me.
What I do offers other options, and so far that I've seen, BETTER solutions to what you're already doing financially.
What I do could be something that YOU could do, and it doesn't mean you have to have all kinds of credentials to do it.
What I do is something that I'm PASSIONATE about. I believe that I have the power and now, a whole lot more knowledge than I did before to help me and my family and even future generations of my family to be better than they have been in the generations before me.
So, let this be the one and ONLY time that I apologize that I love what I do, and that I believe wholeheartedly that what I do and what I know could help you, your family, and/or someone that you love be better in their financial life... and that I want so very much to share that information with you... that power.. that knowledge... and quite possibly.. the freedom to own your life again.
But I won't apologize that I'm going to do it for myself and my family... despite how you feel about it.
.. and remember to try to pretend that you care about what my job means to me as much as I pretend to care about what your job means to you.
If I didn't love you, care about you, or want to see you succeed just like I believe you do for me.... I wouldn't even bring it up.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
It's beginning to look a lot like....
Yup. You guessed it. Christmas.
Time flies when you're actually out there in the world.. doesn't it?
I can't believe how much my life has changed in the past year and a half.
Most of it scary big leaps of faith, some of it, just run of the mill (for me, anyway), disjointed and somewhat askew from what I was expecting, but all of it amazing.
This past June, DH and I celebrated one year together. We combined our families and are looking forward to getting to soon go and physically spend time with his two kids out east. Three kids.. never thought that was what my life had in store, but I certainly don't mind.
We also chose to start in our own business .. the mission statement being " To help families get out of debt, become properly protected, and become financially independent. " and one step and one family at a time, we're doing just that. I LOVE what we can do for people. Though I'm really not sure why (or what it is that Im not doing properly) people aren't jumping to at least have a look at it with me. New things are coming in the future for the company that, along with my own time in the business, will definitely change some of those perspectives, and Im really looking forward to that shift.
Last April we moved into the suburbs of Maple Ridge. I am not surprised that we really all love it out here. Unfortunately, the owners of the home we are renting (sharing with friends), had to be put on the market. The owners moved back to Ontario and can't handle the two mortgages. While I understand this, I can't help but get a little irritated that we've really only JUST moved in, and we are already starting to look around for somewhere else to live here in the area for the "just in case" that the new owners actually want to move in instead of continuing to rent it out to us. That's quite the pressure that I really don't want to deal with.
Now, I realize that I'm not THE best housekeeper.. but the house isn't a disaster ALL the time. I can't believe how anxious I get when the realtors call to let us know when the next showing will be. I don't WANT to have to wash my floors TODAY... I was planning to get them done on the weekend instead, or I don't WANT to have to do all my laundry tonight, but if you want to show the house tomorrow, I don't want it all over the floor in color piles like it is right now. There are just some things you can personally live with (walking around, stepping over, or looking at) that you wouldn't want to share with anyone else... and it feels like every time I let things slide in the housekeeping department, the phone rings, and its the realtor wanting to show the house the next day.
I am, however, thankful that we've been able to be where we are. None of the other places we actually looked at were where or what we wanted. We are lucky to have the school within walking distance for TK and within 5 mins to the office for me... it's cut down on a fair amount of hassles we could have been experiencing. We have also made friends with a few of our neighbors. And we're lucky to have them.
Christmas is coming. The neighborhood is getting all prettied up with lights and other decorations. I've seen people coming and going with their cars full of packages, and know that it's definitely high time we figured out if we're going to try to go for Christmas with DH's family. I know he misses them all. I know I'd love to experience an eastern Christmas.. but the one little thing is that TK probably won't be able to come with us. I don't even want to think about what that argument is going to sound like.. with her OR her father. But... if he says he wants her home, then he will also need to understand that he's the one that gets to deal with her about it too. I'm not the one taking new things away from her.
I love my new business. But I'd also like to help others in another way - de-cluttering. There is much peace for me knowing that I'm helping someone go through boxes and storage of additional "stuff" that's filling their space and occupying more real estate than necessary. I look in our garage and storage shed and think how I'd like to go through more of our things and condense and purge... but also know that I've done it so much that there is really very little to get rid of. We are hoping to have a bigger place so that we can actually USE whatever's still in a box. We bought it for a reason, and we've purged around it, because we know that we do actually want to use it in the future, but know that there really is no actual place to put it right now. Even our bedroom is far too small. Our last bedroom has its own box of things stored away to be pulled out at a later date, in a new space. When we get into that new space, there's a chance that we'll purge it out, but it would be silly to get rid of it right now.
Come the new year, I might post some flyers around the neighborhood... but for now I will wait. Christmas is around the corner, much to be done in our regular business lies ahead, and there's enough going on without adding someone else's stuff. So for now.. Im good. :)
Time flies when you're actually out there in the world.. doesn't it?
I can't believe how much my life has changed in the past year and a half.
Most of it scary big leaps of faith, some of it, just run of the mill (for me, anyway), disjointed and somewhat askew from what I was expecting, but all of it amazing.
This past June, DH and I celebrated one year together. We combined our families and are looking forward to getting to soon go and physically spend time with his two kids out east. Three kids.. never thought that was what my life had in store, but I certainly don't mind.
We also chose to start in our own business .. the mission statement being " To help families get out of debt, become properly protected, and become financially independent. " and one step and one family at a time, we're doing just that. I LOVE what we can do for people. Though I'm really not sure why (or what it is that Im not doing properly) people aren't jumping to at least have a look at it with me. New things are coming in the future for the company that, along with my own time in the business, will definitely change some of those perspectives, and Im really looking forward to that shift.
Last April we moved into the suburbs of Maple Ridge. I am not surprised that we really all love it out here. Unfortunately, the owners of the home we are renting (sharing with friends), had to be put on the market. The owners moved back to Ontario and can't handle the two mortgages. While I understand this, I can't help but get a little irritated that we've really only JUST moved in, and we are already starting to look around for somewhere else to live here in the area for the "just in case" that the new owners actually want to move in instead of continuing to rent it out to us. That's quite the pressure that I really don't want to deal with.
Now, I realize that I'm not THE best housekeeper.. but the house isn't a disaster ALL the time. I can't believe how anxious I get when the realtors call to let us know when the next showing will be. I don't WANT to have to wash my floors TODAY... I was planning to get them done on the weekend instead, or I don't WANT to have to do all my laundry tonight, but if you want to show the house tomorrow, I don't want it all over the floor in color piles like it is right now. There are just some things you can personally live with (walking around, stepping over, or looking at) that you wouldn't want to share with anyone else... and it feels like every time I let things slide in the housekeeping department, the phone rings, and its the realtor wanting to show the house the next day.
I am, however, thankful that we've been able to be where we are. None of the other places we actually looked at were where or what we wanted. We are lucky to have the school within walking distance for TK and within 5 mins to the office for me... it's cut down on a fair amount of hassles we could have been experiencing. We have also made friends with a few of our neighbors. And we're lucky to have them.
Christmas is coming. The neighborhood is getting all prettied up with lights and other decorations. I've seen people coming and going with their cars full of packages, and know that it's definitely high time we figured out if we're going to try to go for Christmas with DH's family. I know he misses them all. I know I'd love to experience an eastern Christmas.. but the one little thing is that TK probably won't be able to come with us. I don't even want to think about what that argument is going to sound like.. with her OR her father. But... if he says he wants her home, then he will also need to understand that he's the one that gets to deal with her about it too. I'm not the one taking new things away from her.
I love my new business. But I'd also like to help others in another way - de-cluttering. There is much peace for me knowing that I'm helping someone go through boxes and storage of additional "stuff" that's filling their space and occupying more real estate than necessary. I look in our garage and storage shed and think how I'd like to go through more of our things and condense and purge... but also know that I've done it so much that there is really very little to get rid of. We are hoping to have a bigger place so that we can actually USE whatever's still in a box. We bought it for a reason, and we've purged around it, because we know that we do actually want to use it in the future, but know that there really is no actual place to put it right now. Even our bedroom is far too small. Our last bedroom has its own box of things stored away to be pulled out at a later date, in a new space. When we get into that new space, there's a chance that we'll purge it out, but it would be silly to get rid of it right now.
Come the new year, I might post some flyers around the neighborhood... but for now I will wait. Christmas is around the corner, much to be done in our regular business lies ahead, and there's enough going on without adding someone else's stuff. So for now.. Im good. :)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Along came a school day...
Ahhhh... the peace.. the bliss of returning to our "regular scheduled program" so to speak. TK started at her new school yesterday - today being the first FULL day. She can walk to school in 5 mins or so, and has already made a friend or two (and shockingly, remembered their names!)
Update on the new careers - we both passed the government exams! YAHOOOOO!
Now we're just waiting for the Province to sign off on them and put the licenses into effect officially. But Sept now on its way to full swing means that other people's lives will also go back to "normal" and they can see their own schedules better, so appointment bookings shouldn't be as difficult to get as they have been over the summer.
It costs you nothing to let me and my trainer come over and take a look at your situation, do your financial analysis for you and see if there's anything better that our company can be doing for you. So you, as my friend - if you're reading this and I haven't already seen you - would you, pretty please, do me the honor of sitting down with us for an hour? Wouldn't you want to find out if your money's doing what you expect it to do? Wouldn't you want to know if you're being ripped off by the life insurance company you've been with for years? And .. if someone were willing to show you how you can save for retirement, save on your income taxes and come out in the end with enough to be truly financially happy ... wouldn't you let them in?
Update on the new careers - we both passed the government exams! YAHOOOOO!
Now we're just waiting for the Province to sign off on them and put the licenses into effect officially. But Sept now on its way to full swing means that other people's lives will also go back to "normal" and they can see their own schedules better, so appointment bookings shouldn't be as difficult to get as they have been over the summer.
It costs you nothing to let me and my trainer come over and take a look at your situation, do your financial analysis for you and see if there's anything better that our company can be doing for you. So you, as my friend - if you're reading this and I haven't already seen you - would you, pretty please, do me the honor of sitting down with us for an hour? Wouldn't you want to find out if your money's doing what you expect it to do? Wouldn't you want to know if you're being ripped off by the life insurance company you've been with for years? And .. if someone were willing to show you how you can save for retirement, save on your income taxes and come out in the end with enough to be truly financially happy ... wouldn't you let them in?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Passing pre-exam, and moving forward
I can't explain how absolutely EXCITED I am.. loud enough, hard enough, full enough... and just so busting-at-the-seams HAPPY an excited.. that this momentum is on its way.
* From a seed, knowledge will come... *
It all started when I got a note from my insurance advisor saying that he'd like to meet with me to review a renew of my life insurance policy. Straight forward - however, timing was of the essence. I had to drive all the way to the office to see him at a time that would work for both of us, in and amongst my busy schedule at the time, review my policy and decide if changes needed to be made and he could try to work me into a renewal. In hindsight, that was probably the best thing he could have done for me at that moment of my life.. and of course.. my life insurance coverage!
Life insurance.. Hmm what a concept huh? I finally hit 40, I've had a few different coverages for life insurance and had to let a few go over the years, but all in all, I knew I needed to leave something behind to those that I love and to take care of things after my leaving. So I had it.
I went into his office and sat and read my policy, from what I could understand, and listened to his reasoning for renewing NOW instead of a few years down the road when I was older, explained the difference in cost to me... but not once did he explain that I wasn't going to be covered if I didn't renew it when it was due.... I had no idea what I bought, signed for and was paying for monthly.. except the knowledge that I thought that if something happened to me in the next few years, and I died.. TK was going to have some money left to her. Not a lot either, and again, knowing what I know now - not nearly enough for her to do the things I had in my plans when I purchased it.
I was 30+, a newly single mother, and I just wanted to know that if I were to die, she would be able to pay for the costs that come at my death, and maybe something to invest for her future life that I wouldn't be there for.
My first husband and I paid for our own wedding. We got a bit of help, but it wasn't the extravagant and elaborate that little girls dream of. I borrowed my dress, we picked the sub-par site in the park we wanted to be married in, and 2 wks before the wedding, the catering company/restaurant we planned to hold our reception with, told us that we wouldn't be allowed to have any minors in the building after 9pm... so I called everyone on the list and said"It's now POT LUCK!"
Now skip ahead 10 yrs from that date, and I'm looking over my life insurance policy and worrying about the impending end of its coverage... and I'm seeing how badly that could end up if it were to end in 4 yrs. I don't plan on being dead within 4 yrs... my coverage is a small amount that isn't really based on any tangible numbers other than "Sure - I can afford that."
After that call from the insurance agent, I had some questions, and went to a local businessman and friend and asked what I was really looking at on this piece of paper, what the technical jargon meant, and how it was going to effect me and my current situation.
He came over - we looked at what I had, and we included DH in the process. I found out that my investment wasn't healthy like I thought it should be by now, and that DH and the 3 kids weren't so much as considered along our paths.... time for a change.
Now fast forward back to present day....
This past weekend, DH and I went in and completed our pre-licensing exam for Life Insurance. We passed, and we're both so proud of each other. That wasn't the simplest task I've ever done, but for the first time in a very long time, I was not afraid of failing the exam. I wanted to know what I learned...
Now, I have life insurance that covers me and the three kids, and an investment that is actually moving in an upward motion instead of slowly disintegrating because of inflation rates, potential tax implications etc... an Im on mu way to a new career to help other families and single moms (okay, other people too! lol) ... and I know that what I'm doing now is making a difference for her when she turns 18.
I can't remember how excited I was to write an exam that took many hours to write. I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in the mirror and knew in my heart that I was going to be ok... and if anything happened to me, so would TK.
Did YOU know that there are taxes AT death...? That the government wants money just because we died? I didn't. I also didn't know just how much leaving something for my daughter mattered until that moment that I moved my insurance and investment (though small) somewhere else. Somewhere that was moving my money and it was increasing instead of just sitting around for someone else to take it over.
When my mom died, I had NO idea what was in the wil. I could barely function then between new baby and caring for my mom's failing health on a daily basis. If she'd only kept up her life insurance. if shed only told us where to look to see if there was one.. something that said we could go on to try to recoup any of the costs involved when you bury someone.
My excitement is wrapped up in what I am already accomplishing. What lied beyond my horizon. And my future's so bright, i have to wear shades > :)
* From a seed, knowledge will come... *
It all started when I got a note from my insurance advisor saying that he'd like to meet with me to review a renew of my life insurance policy. Straight forward - however, timing was of the essence. I had to drive all the way to the office to see him at a time that would work for both of us, in and amongst my busy schedule at the time, review my policy and decide if changes needed to be made and he could try to work me into a renewal. In hindsight, that was probably the best thing he could have done for me at that moment of my life.. and of course.. my life insurance coverage!
Life insurance.. Hmm what a concept huh? I finally hit 40, I've had a few different coverages for life insurance and had to let a few go over the years, but all in all, I knew I needed to leave something behind to those that I love and to take care of things after my leaving. So I had it.
I went into his office and sat and read my policy, from what I could understand, and listened to his reasoning for renewing NOW instead of a few years down the road when I was older, explained the difference in cost to me... but not once did he explain that I wasn't going to be covered if I didn't renew it when it was due.... I had no idea what I bought, signed for and was paying for monthly.. except the knowledge that I thought that if something happened to me in the next few years, and I died.. TK was going to have some money left to her. Not a lot either, and again, knowing what I know now - not nearly enough for her to do the things I had in my plans when I purchased it.
I was 30+, a newly single mother, and I just wanted to know that if I were to die, she would be able to pay for the costs that come at my death, and maybe something to invest for her future life that I wouldn't be there for.
My first husband and I paid for our own wedding. We got a bit of help, but it wasn't the extravagant and elaborate that little girls dream of. I borrowed my dress, we picked the sub-par site in the park we wanted to be married in, and 2 wks before the wedding, the catering company/restaurant we planned to hold our reception with, told us that we wouldn't be allowed to have any minors in the building after 9pm... so I called everyone on the list and said"It's now POT LUCK!"
Now skip ahead 10 yrs from that date, and I'm looking over my life insurance policy and worrying about the impending end of its coverage... and I'm seeing how badly that could end up if it were to end in 4 yrs. I don't plan on being dead within 4 yrs... my coverage is a small amount that isn't really based on any tangible numbers other than "Sure - I can afford that."
After that call from the insurance agent, I had some questions, and went to a local businessman and friend and asked what I was really looking at on this piece of paper, what the technical jargon meant, and how it was going to effect me and my current situation.
He came over - we looked at what I had, and we included DH in the process. I found out that my investment wasn't healthy like I thought it should be by now, and that DH and the 3 kids weren't so much as considered along our paths.... time for a change.
Now fast forward back to present day....
This past weekend, DH and I went in and completed our pre-licensing exam for Life Insurance. We passed, and we're both so proud of each other. That wasn't the simplest task I've ever done, but for the first time in a very long time, I was not afraid of failing the exam. I wanted to know what I learned...
Now, I have life insurance that covers me and the three kids, and an investment that is actually moving in an upward motion instead of slowly disintegrating because of inflation rates, potential tax implications etc... an Im on mu way to a new career to help other families and single moms (okay, other people too! lol) ... and I know that what I'm doing now is making a difference for her when she turns 18.
I can't remember how excited I was to write an exam that took many hours to write. I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in the mirror and knew in my heart that I was going to be ok... and if anything happened to me, so would TK.
Did YOU know that there are taxes AT death...? That the government wants money just because we died? I didn't. I also didn't know just how much leaving something for my daughter mattered until that moment that I moved my insurance and investment (though small) somewhere else. Somewhere that was moving my money and it was increasing instead of just sitting around for someone else to take it over.
When my mom died, I had NO idea what was in the wil. I could barely function then between new baby and caring for my mom's failing health on a daily basis. If she'd only kept up her life insurance. if shed only told us where to look to see if there was one.. something that said we could go on to try to recoup any of the costs involved when you bury someone.
My excitement is wrapped up in what I am already accomplishing. What lied beyond my horizon. And my future's so bright, i have to wear shades > :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Refer to March 21/2011 and then come back and read...
It's a gorgeous day outside.
Here I sit.. sipping a glass of chilled white wine.. all by myself ... enjoying some tunes on the radio... and thinking.
I went back and was reading my previous posts... wondering what I've posted and trying to discern whats still stuck in my head .. floating around that needs to come out. When I ran across the March 21 post.
Today I was talking to one of my mentors.. asking if I am by nature a "positive" person or not. I certainly think I am, but I wanted an outsider's opinion today.
He said, Yes. You have a gift to see past whatever issues are going on - and that's not to say that you are ignoring them - you're seeing PAST them, and feeling the positive things and influences in your life instead of being sucked under by the issues.
Ok... my thoughts are somewhat on track with what some think of me. That's good to me. Someone that I respect and look up to recognizes that about me. YAY!
I could sit here and list off a million things "wrong" or "going wrong" in my world.. but my optimism is keeping me up in my happy place. (without needing to resort to the fetal position!) and really.. there IS a lot of crap going on in my world... but who's got the energy to be negative? You only get one shot on this big go round, and I want mine to be better than wallowing in self pity.
however - I have to say this... after reading march 21, I'm still sick that some, that say they love me and that I matter to them, are still friends with my ex on FB. Why, you ask? Because what you do on FB - even if you have blocked someone, not just deleted, but gone so far as to block them - they can figure enough out via posts and photos posted by your friends. yuppers. Read that again.... they can either figure out whats going on in your life by photos posted by friends, or the little bits of posts that they CAN see on your mutual friends wall can very easily be figured out by following the conversation. Its just like being on the phone... sure its one sided, and you really DON'T know what the blocked person said... but it usually isnt far off if you guess the topic or comment. especially if the blocked party lived with the blockee. Some things are habitual.
I've had friends ask me to delete their recently ex'd partners.. and I usually do, because I really don't have any interest in remaining friends with them on FB because I don't need to be connected to them. (Does that make sense?)
I accept that a couple of our mutual friends will keep the connection open for their own personal needs or reasons... and I know they won't share whats going on in MY life with them. I trust that. But that's only a couple of them.
Lucky for me, recently someone I thought was my friend chose my ex and those friends over me. I was deleted off FB as her friend, and I actually couldn't be happier. If I'm not the one you want to be friends with in real life, I'm all the more pleased to not have to delete you in order to maintain my sanity over what I post or what you might post, thank you very much.
For now, her kids are my friends - but that won't last long. Just trying to preserve peaceful and condusive conversation if required at that moment... but we'll see how that goes, right?
Here I sit.. sipping a glass of chilled white wine.. all by myself ... enjoying some tunes on the radio... and thinking.
I went back and was reading my previous posts... wondering what I've posted and trying to discern whats still stuck in my head .. floating around that needs to come out. When I ran across the March 21 post.
Today I was talking to one of my mentors.. asking if I am by nature a "positive" person or not. I certainly think I am, but I wanted an outsider's opinion today.
He said, Yes. You have a gift to see past whatever issues are going on - and that's not to say that you are ignoring them - you're seeing PAST them, and feeling the positive things and influences in your life instead of being sucked under by the issues.
Ok... my thoughts are somewhat on track with what some think of me. That's good to me. Someone that I respect and look up to recognizes that about me. YAY!
I could sit here and list off a million things "wrong" or "going wrong" in my world.. but my optimism is keeping me up in my happy place. (without needing to resort to the fetal position!) and really.. there IS a lot of crap going on in my world... but who's got the energy to be negative? You only get one shot on this big go round, and I want mine to be better than wallowing in self pity.
however - I have to say this... after reading march 21, I'm still sick that some, that say they love me and that I matter to them, are still friends with my ex on FB. Why, you ask? Because what you do on FB - even if you have blocked someone, not just deleted, but gone so far as to block them - they can figure enough out via posts and photos posted by your friends. yuppers. Read that again.... they can either figure out whats going on in your life by photos posted by friends, or the little bits of posts that they CAN see on your mutual friends wall can very easily be figured out by following the conversation. Its just like being on the phone... sure its one sided, and you really DON'T know what the blocked person said... but it usually isnt far off if you guess the topic or comment. especially if the blocked party lived with the blockee. Some things are habitual.
I've had friends ask me to delete their recently ex'd partners.. and I usually do, because I really don't have any interest in remaining friends with them on FB because I don't need to be connected to them. (Does that make sense?)
I accept that a couple of our mutual friends will keep the connection open for their own personal needs or reasons... and I know they won't share whats going on in MY life with them. I trust that. But that's only a couple of them.
Lucky for me, recently someone I thought was my friend chose my ex and those friends over me. I was deleted off FB as her friend, and I actually couldn't be happier. If I'm not the one you want to be friends with in real life, I'm all the more pleased to not have to delete you in order to maintain my sanity over what I post or what you might post, thank you very much.
For now, her kids are my friends - but that won't last long. Just trying to preserve peaceful and condusive conversation if required at that moment... but we'll see how that goes, right?
Overheard conversation...
Dad: Chase... what are you doing?... Where did that dirt come from?...
Kenzie.. where did the dirt come from? ...
Okay... was this dirt in here before?
Kenzie... Chase... come HERE! ....
Where did you get this dirt?
Was it in the house?
No.. it wasn't... it was over there in the garden, wasn't it?
Kenzie: ... but...
Dad: I told you guys not to play with this dirt. Its got poo in it.... its poo dirt... its called "Manure" ..
Chase: Poo dirt?
Dad: Yes.. its got poo in it, and now you have poo soup... and you're running it through your hair now, stop. You filled my bucket... with poo dirt... and made poo soup. Now I want you to go dump it out.
Dump it.
Kenzie: ... but...
Dad: Use teamwork and go dump it.
(Dad goes inside)
Chase: Kenzie!!! C'mon!!! It's TEAMWORK TIME!!!
*LOL*
and this is what I picture I might find if I peeked over my fence after that conversation...
Kenzie.. where did the dirt come from? ...
Okay... was this dirt in here before?
Kenzie... Chase... come HERE! ....
Where did you get this dirt?
Was it in the house?
No.. it wasn't... it was over there in the garden, wasn't it?
Kenzie: ... but...
Dad: I told you guys not to play with this dirt. Its got poo in it.... its poo dirt... its called "Manure" ..
Chase: Poo dirt?
Dad: Yes.. its got poo in it, and now you have poo soup... and you're running it through your hair now, stop. You filled my bucket... with poo dirt... and made poo soup. Now I want you to go dump it out.
Dump it.
Kenzie: ... but...
Dad: Use teamwork and go dump it.
(Dad goes inside)
Chase: Kenzie!!! C'mon!!! It's TEAMWORK TIME!!!
*LOL*
and this is what I picture I might find if I peeked over my fence after that conversation...
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Canada Day!
Well, it's actually now July 2nd, but the festivities in the house are still going on.
Upstairs, the ladies are all laughing and playing cards and listening to music. Downstairs outside, the guys are jamming and singing on the guitar.
The two kids are upstairs playing video games.
I have a headache. A nasty one that has kept me laying low most of the day, unfortunately.
I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, and she asked if I noticed that there seems to be an awful lot of "crap" going on in everyone's lives right now.. the world in general. She said its because the universe is in a major shift. After watching the news a couple nights ago and seeing that Greece is facing economic breakdown, experiencing first hand the economic shift going on in my own life.. I guess I could believe that.
So it's definitely time for some new things to start going on in my world. I've signed up for some training that could lead to something new in my career field, which of course, I'd be adding to finishing up my Interior Decorating diploma and finding something I'd love to do in that field as well. But it would be nice to know that I could go through the ups and downs in time and jobs with both fields without much conflict.
Around the beginning of June I was officially laid off from my job. There just isn't much retail traffic going on. I'm sad, but I'm not complaining too much. Having the time off at the end of the school year sure made it a little easier to get TK back and forth from school on all those half days and parties she had going on.
I was really hoping today would be a great day for the three of us to spend the day hanging out and enjoying the Canada Day celebrations.. but unfortunately the headache got the better of my day. But on the other side, TK had a nice lazy day, and has had someone to play with since about 4pm.
They boys have changed to making up lyrics to whatever the guitar man plays... so I'm going to call it a night and sneak off to bed and see if I can make this thing go away.
Sweet dreams... wherever you are. Happy Canada Day!
Upstairs, the ladies are all laughing and playing cards and listening to music. Downstairs outside, the guys are jamming and singing on the guitar.
The two kids are upstairs playing video games.
I have a headache. A nasty one that has kept me laying low most of the day, unfortunately.
I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, and she asked if I noticed that there seems to be an awful lot of "crap" going on in everyone's lives right now.. the world in general. She said its because the universe is in a major shift. After watching the news a couple nights ago and seeing that Greece is facing economic breakdown, experiencing first hand the economic shift going on in my own life.. I guess I could believe that.
So it's definitely time for some new things to start going on in my world. I've signed up for some training that could lead to something new in my career field, which of course, I'd be adding to finishing up my Interior Decorating diploma and finding something I'd love to do in that field as well. But it would be nice to know that I could go through the ups and downs in time and jobs with both fields without much conflict.
Around the beginning of June I was officially laid off from my job. There just isn't much retail traffic going on. I'm sad, but I'm not complaining too much. Having the time off at the end of the school year sure made it a little easier to get TK back and forth from school on all those half days and parties she had going on.
I was really hoping today would be a great day for the three of us to spend the day hanging out and enjoying the Canada Day celebrations.. but unfortunately the headache got the better of my day. But on the other side, TK had a nice lazy day, and has had someone to play with since about 4pm.
They boys have changed to making up lyrics to whatever the guitar man plays... so I'm going to call it a night and sneak off to bed and see if I can make this thing go away.
Sweet dreams... wherever you are. Happy Canada Day!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Has summer finally arrived?
We've all been complaining about the lack of Spring. The past couple days of nice warm sunshine has definitely turned everyone's spirits. (Thank goodness!)
Its been a busy couple days around here. Thursday I went to work for another client of mine, he needed help in the garden, a few things around the house and some computer stuff. We had agreed on rain or shine.. and unfortunately, that rain showed up. But I managed to get all the flowers into the beds despite the downpour. That night, DH had ball and I opted not to go, only because I'd already spent the day getting wet and cold.
I had begged him to skip, but he said they needed him, so I puttered around the house while TK and TKU played Xbox 360 upstairs. When he got home, I convinced him to play the board game I'd set up earlier in hopes that he'd stay home. As soon as the game was done, he leaned back on the couch and in mid-coherent sentence, his eyes rolled back in his head and he completely fell asleep! Sometimes I think he's narcoleptic. LOL.
I really have no idea how anyone can fall asleep that quickly. It's the same when we crawl into bed at night. It isn't always because its late when we get there either. But really.. under a minute and he's completely out and snoring. At least I managed to get him off the couch and into bed within about 30 mins. That might be a household record for shortest time.
Friday was a good night.. despite the bits of arguing with TK about what she could do. Usually she and TKU like to go swimming, but the deal was that she couldn't go unless her room was cleaned up AND her homework was all done. She was home by 3:45... I got home at 5:30 and neither was done. So my answer was no. Along with the conversation that homework had to be done at the very least. however somewhere in that - it turned into complete refusal and a promise to do it Saturday.
Saturday I had to go to work and the girls were left to get their chores done for the couple hrs that everyone would be out working. DH got home to find them outside lying in the sun and painting their toes. No homework even started. *sigh* I called and talked to her at 3 and she said she wanted to do her homework with ME.. (huh?) So obviously when I got home - no homework in sight. I managed to get her to do her reading for English at least.. so we set up the tent in the backyard - and the two of them slept in it ... all night! I was pretty surprised actually. I figured TK would be up for it, but TKU chickens out - so I expected she'd be bailing before midnight and opting for her own bed. But they managed to stick it out all night and have a good time.
Ahh.. Sunday - my day off... got some things tidied up around the house, laundry folded and put away and all of a sudden, it's like noon. Where does the time go? DH had ball.. 1:30 and 4:30 games. So after MUCH arguing with TK that she had to come, we managed to all get out and to the field in time. With the double header the team does hot dogs for lunch. We packed three of the water guns too, and during the second game TK found a couple boys to play with. That was a bunch of fun for sure! I had to make a run to the store and we passed a yard sale.. so TK and I stopped to check it out. She scored a pair or Heelies - those runners with wheels in the heels for $5, and a game for her DS for $4. I was checking out some funky glasses, and a lovely set of 6 coffee mugs that I really would have liked to get, was a little more concerned about how much cash I had on hand for her stuff.. so I didn't get them. When we got in the car, TK asked why I didn't get them - "They're only $1.50 mom!" as we drove on to the store and proceeded to count out the rest of the small change in my wallet stating that indeed, I could get them if we stopped on the way back to the park.
So .. we stopped, and she headed out with her mit full of dimes and nickels that had been badly weighing down my purse... to get what I THOUGHT were my coffee mugs; only to come back with the funky curvy glasses instead. LOL! (somewhat like this, only frosted and I think they're a little more bent)
I'm pretty sure these AREN'T what I expected to come back, but they're not bad either. I could have used the coffee cups though. lol I guess this means I have to do some more yard sale-ing to find myself a set of 6 matching coffee mugs that I'd be willing to take home. *smirk*
We got home, the girls had a water balloon fight, then a water gun fight that included TKU2 as well. Figured out something for dinner and I turned on a movie - Julie / Julia. TK decided she wanted to watch too. Apparently DH had a very important meeting with the inside of his eyelids because I don't think he got all the way through half of the movie.
I got TK to bed, with some cuddle time, and managed to peel DH off the couch and pour him into bed too... And just as quickly as Sunday arrived.. it was gone again.
So .. this morning being my second day off and not having anyone home to distract, annoy or otherwise get under foot - I have plans. BIG plans.
Laundry, dishes, recycle, bottle depot, clean the bathroom, tidy the back patio and rearrange things, and possibly get out to the back flower beds to get some weeding done so we can try to plant something in there to make it beautiful.
Here's to plans becoming reality!
how was YOUR weekend?
Its been a busy couple days around here. Thursday I went to work for another client of mine, he needed help in the garden, a few things around the house and some computer stuff. We had agreed on rain or shine.. and unfortunately, that rain showed up. But I managed to get all the flowers into the beds despite the downpour. That night, DH had ball and I opted not to go, only because I'd already spent the day getting wet and cold.
I had begged him to skip, but he said they needed him, so I puttered around the house while TK and TKU played Xbox 360 upstairs. When he got home, I convinced him to play the board game I'd set up earlier in hopes that he'd stay home. As soon as the game was done, he leaned back on the couch and in mid-coherent sentence, his eyes rolled back in his head and he completely fell asleep! Sometimes I think he's narcoleptic. LOL.
I really have no idea how anyone can fall asleep that quickly. It's the same when we crawl into bed at night. It isn't always because its late when we get there either. But really.. under a minute and he's completely out and snoring. At least I managed to get him off the couch and into bed within about 30 mins. That might be a household record for shortest time.
Friday was a good night.. despite the bits of arguing with TK about what she could do. Usually she and TKU like to go swimming, but the deal was that she couldn't go unless her room was cleaned up AND her homework was all done. She was home by 3:45... I got home at 5:30 and neither was done. So my answer was no. Along with the conversation that homework had to be done at the very least. however somewhere in that - it turned into complete refusal and a promise to do it Saturday.
Saturday I had to go to work and the girls were left to get their chores done for the couple hrs that everyone would be out working. DH got home to find them outside lying in the sun and painting their toes. No homework even started. *sigh* I called and talked to her at 3 and she said she wanted to do her homework with ME.. (huh?) So obviously when I got home - no homework in sight. I managed to get her to do her reading for English at least.. so we set up the tent in the backyard - and the two of them slept in it ... all night! I was pretty surprised actually. I figured TK would be up for it, but TKU chickens out - so I expected she'd be bailing before midnight and opting for her own bed. But they managed to stick it out all night and have a good time.
Ahh.. Sunday - my day off... got some things tidied up around the house, laundry folded and put away and all of a sudden, it's like noon. Where does the time go? DH had ball.. 1:30 and 4:30 games. So after MUCH arguing with TK that she had to come, we managed to all get out and to the field in time. With the double header the team does hot dogs for lunch. We packed three of the water guns too, and during the second game TK found a couple boys to play with. That was a bunch of fun for sure! I had to make a run to the store and we passed a yard sale.. so TK and I stopped to check it out. She scored a pair or Heelies - those runners with wheels in the heels for $5, and a game for her DS for $4. I was checking out some funky glasses, and a lovely set of 6 coffee mugs that I really would have liked to get, was a little more concerned about how much cash I had on hand for her stuff.. so I didn't get them. When we got in the car, TK asked why I didn't get them - "They're only $1.50 mom!" as we drove on to the store and proceeded to count out the rest of the small change in my wallet stating that indeed, I could get them if we stopped on the way back to the park.
So .. we stopped, and she headed out with her mit full of dimes and nickels that had been badly weighing down my purse... to get what I THOUGHT were my coffee mugs; only to come back with the funky curvy glasses instead. LOL! (somewhat like this, only frosted and I think they're a little more bent)
We got home, the girls had a water balloon fight, then a water gun fight that included TKU2 as well. Figured out something for dinner and I turned on a movie - Julie / Julia. TK decided she wanted to watch too. Apparently DH had a very important meeting with the inside of his eyelids because I don't think he got all the way through half of the movie.
I got TK to bed, with some cuddle time, and managed to peel DH off the couch and pour him into bed too... And just as quickly as Sunday arrived.. it was gone again.
So .. this morning being my second day off and not having anyone home to distract, annoy or otherwise get under foot - I have plans. BIG plans.
Laundry, dishes, recycle, bottle depot, clean the bathroom, tidy the back patio and rearrange things, and possibly get out to the back flower beds to get some weeding done so we can try to plant something in there to make it beautiful.
Here's to plans becoming reality!
how was YOUR weekend?
Monday, May 30, 2011
Almost June...
Wow.. what is UP with this weather. Mind you - I can remember back into my younger years and remembering the odd freak snow fall in May..this isn't really that bad.
Just finished another of the courses for my Interior Decorating Diploma. YAY! So far, what have I taken.. Hmm let's see...
This is what I've taken so far.. 166 hrs of req'd 340
CORE - 60 hrs
Basics of Design – Prerequisite to all decorating courses
Color
Light
ELECTIVES - 100 hrs
Apartments & Condominiums
Fibers to Fabrics
Furniture Selection
Space Planning
Accessories
SKILL ENHANCEMENT
Decorating with a Green Attitude - 6 hrs
Just over half way. Not bad. Hoping they put in a couple more that I need/ want and can get those done in the fall. YAY! :)
What you been up to?
Just finished another of the courses for my Interior Decorating Diploma. YAY! So far, what have I taken.. Hmm let's see...
This is what I've taken so far.. 166 hrs of req'd 340
CORE - 60 hrs
Basics of Design – Prerequisite to all decorating courses
Color
Light
ELECTIVES - 100 hrs
Apartments & Condominiums
Fibers to Fabrics
Furniture Selection
Space Planning
Accessories
SKILL ENHANCEMENT
Decorating with a Green Attitude - 6 hrs
Just over half way. Not bad. Hoping they put in a couple more that I need/ want and can get those done in the fall. YAY! :)
What you been up to?
Friday, May 27, 2011
Have I told you lately?
I know I know... so sue me. I've been busy too.
We're nearing now two months since we moved in here. The place is a HUGE space difference.. which makes a completely different impact on our lives. The master bedroom is small..I mean - I'm sure Rachel's last room was bigger. But we make due. Its all about enjoying all the other places in the house too, right?
I'm sitting here.. at nearly midnight - trying to build my friend's 40th Bday video for her party tomorrow... not sure I'll get it done.. but I'll do what I can and do my best doing so. No one had any YOUNGER photos of her. I had to get her hubby to infiltrate the storage room and find me one. Luck - but so much later years ones .. and people sent a lot of wedding ones.. (like I wouldnt have those?) .. ah well.. it will be whatever it is... the girls are doing a FAB job with the decorations and planning. I cant wait to see it all do down tomorrow. :)
okay .. there you've heard from me... :) I'll be back. I apologize for my lengthy absence.
We're nearing now two months since we moved in here. The place is a HUGE space difference.. which makes a completely different impact on our lives. The master bedroom is small..I mean - I'm sure Rachel's last room was bigger. But we make due. Its all about enjoying all the other places in the house too, right?
I'm sitting here.. at nearly midnight - trying to build my friend's 40th Bday video for her party tomorrow... not sure I'll get it done.. but I'll do what I can and do my best doing so. No one had any YOUNGER photos of her. I had to get her hubby to infiltrate the storage room and find me one. Luck - but so much later years ones .. and people sent a lot of wedding ones.. (like I wouldnt have those?) .. ah well.. it will be whatever it is... the girls are doing a FAB job with the decorations and planning. I cant wait to see it all do down tomorrow. :)
okay .. there you've heard from me... :) I'll be back. I apologize for my lengthy absence.
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